Why Wii Netflix hurts my feelings

When using Netflix on a computer or an Xbox it will automatically play the following episode of the TV show that you are watching (up to about 4 episodes in a row). This is great for people like me who enjoy binge watching large sections of a series in one day. But Wii Netflix does not operate this way. Instead of enabling my habit of being wholly unproductive on the couch all day (complete with eating mass amounts of terrible food and not exercising) it requires you to manually select the next episode to be played. Every time I do this I can feel the judgement and the disgust from the stupid little “on” light of the Wii console. I have a fear that one day after watching more than five episodes in one sitting, when I try to start the next one the console will say “I’m afraid I can’t do that, Paopique,” and then I will cry in a ball of shame and sadness that only 3 episodes of Buffy can cure. I guess it makes some sense that the Wii, the family console, would promote not spending all day inside on the couch. Whereas a computer or Xbox, which often serve people that are already more inclined to spend several hours at a time gaming, would be totally fine with me watching the last seven episodes of Bojack Horseman season 1 in one day while I wait for my roommates to come home so I can do something actually fun. So fuck you, Wii Netflix. I don’t need your judgement. And by the way, why is rewinding or fast forwarding so hard for you? If you were not on my roommate’s console that I can use for free, and if I didn’t already have a Netflix account from back when I had my own Xbox, I would never look at you again. Well, until I have a craving to play Tanks! in Wii Play. Oh lord that game is good.

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